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Keeping it together

1/21/2012

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 I really wanted to name this blog post "Shut Up and Get Outta the Way!" but that is not very polite. I get a little cranky when  I've been up all night with the flu. It gives me too much time to think. After much though and consideration, Seth and I have decided to move our family. Just the idea of this being bounced around has sent some of those around in a frenzied panic. Some of the actions and discussions have only furthered our resolve this is the right move for our family and more than likely we should have made these steps years ago. Hind sight is always 20/20 ya know!?

I wrote a previous post on well meaning people offering and insisting my high school kids should  remain behind, and yet again I have had to open myself up to conversations about it. The bottom line is I am moving to where my husband works to have my family together...leaving anyone behind defeats that purpose. I've had to go so far as to check with our attorney about it, which to me is sad in itself and really shows me the state of misplaced values in our society. I've been insured I am well within my parental rights to move particularly due to a new job and parental interference by seemingly well meaning people isn't ok. 

I've been focusing on the future of the Beech Clan. I've been focusing on what positives this move will bring into our lives. After months of research and conversations I feel we have found a place which will be a good fit for our family and will have the least amount of bumps for the kid's transition. I've found a small town with great schools and a few more opportunities than we have here. 

The education system there provides college credits for high schoolers. They have several languages offered instead of one. Their wrestling team seems stellar and it is a sport still fully funded (I've been told they pack their gym out at the meets...which doesn't occur here) They have sports not offered here such as soccer. My youngest will have the opportunity to play Violin at school in the orchestra instead of driving two hours weekly for lessons. We will be very close to Seth's workplace which gives him more time at home with us. We will live in a finished home (My favorite perk so far!) The schools offer summer camps ...there is a 4 H camp near by and many new places to explore in the Teton area. 

Don't get me wrong, the community we are leaving has many positive attributes and there are things we will definitely miss. I am thankful for the support we have had through the years, and even for the hard lessons we have endured here. 

I spent some time with my eldest daughter yesterday, who is home from college. She wishes now we had moved when she was younger. She is realizing there would have been some positive advantages to this. It was funny to hear her say "You are the parents and there is a time when you just have to put your foot down and the kids need to follow your lead...no discussions asked." 

She also gave me some insight into my own parenting style. I tend to err on the side of too much discussion...too much allowing the kids too much room for argument. In my defense I feel it is important for children to have a voice. My Lili girl stated that kids need firm boundaries, even when they are throwing all kinds of fits and bucking the system in place. She is thankful for the boundaries and childhood she had but she voiced there were times she knew we should have been firmer. 

Moving is hard enough with a family this size. We are trying to do it in a way which allows adjustments to occur over time. Some days I want to load them up in the car right now...say screw adjustments...we are doing this now...just to get it over with. :) I've asked those in our circle to please support this move whether you agree with it or not. I've asked people not to interfere and I have been placing firm boundaries about not tolerating it. Things used to seem so simple, but I'm having to adjust and change to the world which is around me. I'm keeping my family together. One day at a time I'm keeping it together as we move toward a bright new positive future. Support that, get out of the way, or interfere. Either way, we are keeping it together. It's just what we Beeches do!

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Making Memories

3/21/2011

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Over the weekend we hosted a prom dinner for our children and their friends. 16 kids, prime rib and prawns, fun, singing and a few moments where I just sat there in awe of the blessings in my life. This year is full of "last times" for my two oldest children and "first times" for my son who is a freshman. We wanted to make it a very special night for all the kids involved, however, I wanted Ken and Lili to have this night to look back on as a GREAT MEMORY...as a time in their lives when they can remember being in the safety of their loving family and have something they can hold on to when life throws curve balls their way. I find myself cramming more and more memory making opportunities in for them as the time approaches for them to graduate. They haven't thrown their hands in the air and screamed "enough!" at me yet, so I guess they are ok with their mother's craziness.

I find myself looking back over the years. I breathe a sigh of relief that, on this day, all seven of my children are doing well. They are polite, well-rounded, healthy young people. I have known  for a very long time, things can go wrong in just the blink of an eye, so enjoy the moments of peace and happiness. Parenting requires vigilance, patience, and eyes in the back of the head. I sat there watching the kids singing, laughing, and enjoying each other's company and had a "this is what life is all about moment." We can spend our lives so consumed with how things should have been or should be, and can miss opportunities to create lasting memories with those we love.
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The Snow Globe of Life...Shake it up!

2/24/2011

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With teens in the house...sometimes throwing out the proverbial baby with the bathtub seems like a great plan! I want to be unreasonable, unexpected, and act a little crazy....but that would not be a good example...so often times I am stuck behaving in a rational, calm, consistent manner, all of which is a little boring and predictable. In those moments when the halo or cape or what ever you want to call it slips or falls off all together I must confess I get this feeling of  "FINALLY" in my soul!  An unexpected understanding of life. Life is not always ordered..it is messy, dangerous, exhilarating and sometimes down right dirty! On occasion,  we just have to get a little out of our comfort zone and the expectations placed upon us to get some things accomplished. It has been in those moments of getting a little fed up with status quo where I have made the greatest and healthiest changes in my life. Life is not meant to be sterile and stagnant. No, life is like a snow globe, such a pretty little scene there on the shelf, but sometimes it is good to be like a gleeful child shaking it vigorously,  watching as things once again fall into place but with a fresh outlook.  Don't be afraid to shake things up a little on occasion as you just might be surprised what fresh directions life will take.

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