Sometimes closing a chapter in life is a little harder than one anticipates. Leaving is hard. This choice to head a new direction feels a bit like a divorce more than a move. Partly due to some peoples reactions to these changes.Sometimes in life we make decisions based on all the information we have combined with our needs, our goals, and a little bit of intuition thrown in. It can rock the boat and other peoples world.
I think I've always been a people pleaser and though as I have gotten older I have become adept at making the hard choices, it still makes me a little uncomfortable in my own skin to cause others discomfort. No one likes to feel their reasons are being judged when they make important life decisions, particularly not me. Sometimes one gets to a place where things cannot get any worse and you have to just push on through and do what you believe in your heart to be the very best and right thing to do.
My sweetheart and I have made the decision to move from Montana to Wyoming (not to the moon people). There is no turning back. No amount of argument, reasoning and accusations of “treason” will turn this vehicle around. Threats that we are ruining our kids lives by moving them in high school are not working (the new school has more opportunities, so yes we are putting their futures first). No amount of sugar coating “good intentions” cover up the fact there are those who are butting in where they dont belong and quite frankly have stepped on my toes enough to get my Irish up and that is never a good thing. We know in our hearts this is the right decision for ourselves and our family.
At 39 years of age I'm learning more about myself and those I choose to have around me and in my childrens lives. There are lovely things about the community in which we have chosen to live these last 12 years, and there are also negative. One will find those things anywhere. We are not running from negative but moving in a positive direction. We are not making judgements which say this community in which we have resided isn't a lovely and beautiful place to raise a family or somehow others decision to do so is somehow wrong. Our lives are just taking a fork in the road, down a different path.
When we weighed this decision, at first we came to the realization that staying here would be way worse than leaving for our family but more importantly as time has passed it has become abundantly clear staying does not meet the goals and commitment to our futures we hold. We realize it leaves a hole in the lives of others. We realize the local school loses a lot of funding. We recognize the blessings and benefits of this place we have called home and we honor the place it has had in our lives. We will desperately miss our friends and family. There is recognition change is hard and work... we have never shied away from hard work and we won't start now. We love all the positive people who have been a part of our lives for so long. We also KNOW with that certain knowing one feels deep down in their gut, we have made the “right” decision to “set sail on this new adventure.”
We are not looking to convince anyone of it. I just keep praying for a little respect and space while we navigate these changes. We've spent the time honoring others feelings and hearing people out. After an hour on the phone with my handsome man last night he wisely stated "Baby, we've come to the chapter where the time for that has passed...Elvis has left the building." (he always makes me laugh) "We will no longer entertain any discussion about it." Seth rarely makes ultimatums, and I always come back with "the great Oz has spoken" when he does. He is right. The time has come to settle into our decision, wear it proudly so to speak and move ahead. No children are staying behind. This family is embarking on a new journey. Tired as I may be I have this stirring of anticipation in me… it's time to put my big girl pants on and get to work on the next chapter in our lives.