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Hey Mom...Have You Seen the Facebook Pic of Your Kid Yet???

3/19/2012

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When my beautiful daughter went off to college I wondered how mothers of the past coped with the separation from their child before we had all the lovely technology available to us today. Facebook, texting, mail, and cell phones mean almost certain access to those we love (within reason). She could send me a picture of her dorm room instantly, and I could interact from 6 hours away! I spoke to my former MIL about how thankful I was for the ability to be this involved and connected with my girl. She related to me how when she went away to college there was one phone in the hall and she was only able to call home for a few minutes a week. How did those mother's back then make it??? Were they created of sterner stuff than I? 

While there are many advantages to parenting  in the age of technology there are an equal amount of pitfalls. Just look at the dad who shot his daughter's laptop! I applaud the man (he needed to make a point and he paid for it) ...even though others were equally appalled and up in arms. I felt for him... It is pretty easy for your children to announce your every pitfall and parenting faux pas to the world. They have access to the world and their friends 24/7 and it can be a challenge to bring the focus back to "right here...right now." I love the fact I can set a GPS to their phone and tell if they are indeed where they have professed to be ( a little trick I just discovered and will be using!)

Parenting is hard and it is messy. There is no rule book and I'm pretty sure if there was one it would be wrong and I'd use the thing for fire starter! As I parent kids rapidly turning into adults, we traverse familiar ground of the senior year. I wonder if the goal is "how much can I get away with before she follows good on the threat of eating her own young"?  Last week, I found myself adopting the shrill loud voice and could feel the same expression creep over my face which was on my mom's face when I was a teen (love you Mama). You know...the "scary"...my heads going to spin around one. 

My dear son decided to skip school...then refuse to come home. (Hence my new love of GPS tracking for parents) Guess he thought he could beg for forgiveness later. After being up all night worried sick and planning his consequences and talking myself out of his swift demise... messages started coming in of FB pics (Hey Kimber have you seen the pics of your son?!!!??). What did us mother's do before Facebook I ask you??  What idiocy crosses the minds of our teens to post pictures of their rule breaking...flaunting them for all the world to see?

 I remember being a teen and seeing my brothers aggravate my mom to the point of frustration while she was brushing her teeth one day. The more animated she became, the more hysterical the scene...the more they purposefully they riled her...because she didnt realize the tooth paste had begun to froth until she was literally "foaming at the mouth." When she turned around and looked in the mirror she good nature-dly began laughing with us! 

After the FB messages started pouring in, I texted my ex-husband to let him know, only to discover the kid had decided to show up there in the middle of the night and NO ONE bothered to let me know. Needless to say I was livid and everyone had to hear about it. We had to practice our co-parenting skills which for him just proved to be "ride the storm out and let her rant." Once again we made it through another bump in the road. 

I used to be mortified when my kids broke house rules... as if it were a reflection of my mothering. With as many teenagers as I have in the house I have decided unless I'm willing to break the law and handcuff them to the bed post, then I cannot control everything. There are somethings I can control and others I just have to release to prayer and the hands of God. I can be thankful for technology and it's help in this crazy roller coaster ride called parenting, though sometimes I wish I didn't have access to all the idiotic things my kids try or say, balancing this with not allowing it to tempt me to micro manage their lives. 


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    Kimber Beech
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