I have found myself in the place in the last few years of my little boys progressively changing and growing into young men. Our oldest boy turned 18 last year; this year another does and next year two at a time become "men." It's a strange and uncomfortable time for me as a mom. Let me just put it right out there. I don't understand them at all! It was easy when they were little and I was the most beautiful and sweet woman in their little world and I could do no wrong. Now, just being "mom" seems to send them all sorts of sideways in their thinking and they run like hell-o (or want to ) if they even get a hint I might say something "motherly like." Such as "Wash your hands"..."Do your homework""..."Who is the girl"... "That's Dangerous"
I've not seen a single book, or article which points the way clear on how to do this. Every mother I know who have raised these strange creatures has given me this look that seems to say "I survived it and so shall you." I wanna know HOW (make sure you put a real thick southern accent on that sentence because that's how I heard it in my head). Several mom friends have gone on to encourage me by letting me know all young men "lose their minds" at around age 16 or 17 and hopefully regain it around 25 ...or maybe even 30. This is not encouraging...I have 4...F O U R young men!
Oh I get that they must grow up...learn a few mistakes on their own. I get that I must let go and cut the strings (I definitely don't want to curse their future wives with young men who are still attached to my apron strings!) How do we transition from mommies of little boys to mothers of men without feeling like our hearts are being ripped out of our chests? I raised independent young people...I'm thankful I did...I just didn't realize how hard that can be sometimes as we learn to let them go.
We have had to have a few of those "hard talks" with a few of our young men lately. They seem to think once the magical age of 17-18 has been reached they are men who know everything and we as parents know nothing. It has been quite the eye opener, I am sure, that we do butt in on occasion and give our two cents worth, reminding them we care and will always be concerned with the course their lives are taking. My job as a mom is to be willing to say the hard things tempered with love. It is a tight rope walk and this new stage seems a strange new land.
I'm the emotional one...the one who thinks ahead and is always worrying (even though I try no to) and Seth is pretty laid back. We look at each other and just shake our heads at this transition we are in. It is lovely to know I am not the only one in this boat and I have him to lean on and it is nice to know his heart is breaking too and he feels really thankful to have me. I guess that is why it is so important for spouses to have a good solid relationship when the kids start jumping ship! A friend of mine reminded me the other day she thinks this is all a part of God's plan...for kids to drive us crazy at this age ...otherwise you would never want them to leave and that would not be a healthy thing! I have been assured things will someday feel normal again. Im looking forward to a new sense of normal.
Have kids moving out...already have an empty nest? How did you do it without looking like a blubbering idiot? lol!
I've not seen a single book, or article which points the way clear on how to do this. Every mother I know who have raised these strange creatures has given me this look that seems to say "I survived it and so shall you." I wanna know HOW (make sure you put a real thick southern accent on that sentence because that's how I heard it in my head). Several mom friends have gone on to encourage me by letting me know all young men "lose their minds" at around age 16 or 17 and hopefully regain it around 25 ...or maybe even 30. This is not encouraging...I have 4...F O U R young men!
Oh I get that they must grow up...learn a few mistakes on their own. I get that I must let go and cut the strings (I definitely don't want to curse their future wives with young men who are still attached to my apron strings!) How do we transition from mommies of little boys to mothers of men without feeling like our hearts are being ripped out of our chests? I raised independent young people...I'm thankful I did...I just didn't realize how hard that can be sometimes as we learn to let them go.
We have had to have a few of those "hard talks" with a few of our young men lately. They seem to think once the magical age of 17-18 has been reached they are men who know everything and we as parents know nothing. It has been quite the eye opener, I am sure, that we do butt in on occasion and give our two cents worth, reminding them we care and will always be concerned with the course their lives are taking. My job as a mom is to be willing to say the hard things tempered with love. It is a tight rope walk and this new stage seems a strange new land.
I'm the emotional one...the one who thinks ahead and is always worrying (even though I try no to) and Seth is pretty laid back. We look at each other and just shake our heads at this transition we are in. It is lovely to know I am not the only one in this boat and I have him to lean on and it is nice to know his heart is breaking too and he feels really thankful to have me. I guess that is why it is so important for spouses to have a good solid relationship when the kids start jumping ship! A friend of mine reminded me the other day she thinks this is all a part of God's plan...for kids to drive us crazy at this age ...otherwise you would never want them to leave and that would not be a healthy thing! I have been assured things will someday feel normal again. Im looking forward to a new sense of normal.
Have kids moving out...already have an empty nest? How did you do it without looking like a blubbering idiot? lol!
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