November/ December Updates

Moving forward from a traumatic event such as an accident can be so difficult. Not only for the victim of the trauma but for those that love and support them as well. In the moments, days, and weeks that followed my Cowboys accident, we got by on knowing that as he healed, things would become easier. There wouldn't be the changing of bandages, the headaches, the cleaning external pins, the helping him shower, or take care of things one cannot do without the use of their arms. The broken bones and lacerations would mend and we would be left with just the memory of a near miss and the thankfulness of a life spared. 

What no one can prepare you for is the possibility of residual effects of a traumatic brain injury as well as the long healing process of broken bones and lacerations that don't heal properly. No one can prepare you for or even express how exhausting the myriad of appointments will be or how they will consume your life and shape your plans. In particular, no one can know or express how it will alter your family life or relationships. I have taken time out from writing about him and updating his progress on here, as I wasn't prepared to face the real life challenges, much less the write about them.

Seth's arm lacerations healed but unfortunately they did not heal properly. No one knows why some scars begin putting out extra scar tissue, but the outcome is a very painful one! Seth finally had surgery to remove one of the two major scars on his arm that would not heal properly. As you can see with the pictures below, it continued to blister and grow outside the arm. The surgeon removed quite a bit of tissue in order to cut all around the first scar, which has caused a lot of tightness when he moves. His arm will not be ready for the second surgery until April as it needs time to heal and stretch before it can be worked on. Needless to say, though it looks better, he is once again in massive amounts of pain as the body heals and stretches. Every arm movement hurts. 

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The large scar on the left was removed

It's called Hypotrophic Scarring

After the first surgery

Trying to grab a moment of normal after one of many doctor's appointments (picture below). We love to have bowl of clam chowder or fish and chips after a particularly painful round of appointments! The one thing I have learned is that we have to grab these moments when we can... and cherish them. Seth is stuck with wearing his safety glasses. He doesn't want to spend the money on a new prescription given the difficulty with his eyes at this time. The right eye he had surgery on has had some serious residual effects we were not counting on. The muscle was damaged, so it is slower in reacting than his other eye. This is where his double vision is coming from. Again, we were told "Time Will Tell" and will return to the eye doctor in 3 -4 months in hopes it has healed, otherwise he will be fitted with glasses with prisms to attempt to correct the issue. This will mean no more contacts for him. He also is facing the fact that his eye has sunken back into his face from the accident. Being a woman this would bother me tremendously. He has taken it in stride but it does bother him that his face has changed. He says it feels like he looks at someone different in the mirror. Add to that, the feeling in his face hasn't returned, which seems minor, but also an adjustment. 

Traumatic Brain Injuries can be tricky. You can go to the Neurologist and they see no bleed or issues visible in the brain, hand you a stack of papers about head aches, mood changes, inability to do some daily tasks, memory loss... all the things you somehow need to address, and come away with few answers. The only answer we seem to be able to get is "Time will tell."  We have been told the residual effects of a brain injury and accident are individual.. like our finger prints.. no two alike.


With his permission and blessing, I am going to share some of what he is experiencing in hopes to bring encouragement to other families in similar circumstances. Right away we noticed the gaps in memory, and his inability to recall certain things. We assumed as time went on, these effects would disappear as the brain healed. Unfortunately, it has not. 


We assumed that the changes in his once calm temperament would also fade in time. We recently spoke with our doctor about some of these concerns and again "Time will tell" I just wasn't prepared to here that some personality changes are normal and could take up to seven years to expect change...or sooner that that... or it could never occur. The doctor had some advice about writing important discussions down, so when there was a memory lapse, he could go back and see a topic was discussed and what was decided. We also have chosen to meet with someone as a family to give us ideas how to adjust and support these changes. 

You cannot imagine how difficult it is to adjust to living with someone you know and love and feel like you are dealing with a different person. He says it is frustrating and bothersome to have us express there have been changes and not recognize them himself or recognize them and not be able to do anything about it. Never having been one to have a nervous temperament  he now breaks out in a cold sweat if someone else is driving, or we take a trip to the doctors office. 


After months of headaches, I can see it beginning to wear on Seth. He is tired, but cannot sleep for long periods of time before the headaches wake him back up. He has tried many medications to no avail, and the side effects were debilitating. We plan our life and schedules around his headaches, while attempting to make the kid's lives as "normal" as possible. Once again we are trying a new mixture of meds this week... he calls them another "concoction cocktail." 

For a hard working man who has never been down more than a day or two in his life, the day to day reality of having to sit or wind up with a worse headache is not something he is able to embrace easily at this time. Going to just pick up his prescriptions can be a chore, particularly when getting the pharmacy and workmens comp to work together. Some days it takes hours and many phone calls just to get a prescription filled properly. 

Last weekend we went to our son's wrestling meet. We weren't sure until that morning if he would feel up for it. Unless Seth was away at work, in all the 13 years of my boys wrestling, he wouldn't miss a meet. We arrived in time to see our son wrestle and win. We waited and by the time the second match rolled around, Seth was green in color and swaying in his seat. He forced himself to watch the match before fleeing the arena. After a quick congrats and pat on the back to our kid, we made the drive back home. I have never seen this man as frustrated as he was. 

In the midst of all the chaos, when he has a moment where his head pain reduces from a 9 to a 3 on the pain scale (yup we have been reduced to summing up our days to a pain scale) I see a small glimpse of the man we know and love. The funny man who jokes around and wont let me have my apron from Fried Green Aprons back! We miss him! For now, all we can do is take things day by day and let ourselves adjust, as life carries on Time Will Tell what the future will hold. 

Such a silly man

There are the nights of worry, the questions of when he will return to work. The moments of utter frustration as we navigate a new relationship with each other and he navigates being a father. He has always been a wonderful one, and the toll of not being able to do all the things he normally does with our kids is often heartbreaking to watch. People have asked what they can do to help, and everyone is doing what they can. Just be a friend, send Seth a sweet note, or give him a call, as all of you have already been doing. Each call, each kind word gives him so much encouragement! 

Our little family will do what it has always done.. defy the odds... support and love each other, even during the most trying of times. We continue to thank you for all your thoughts, prayers, and well wishes! Kimber, the kids, and the Cowboy

We have had several requests on placing a donate button to help out the family during this trying time, so after much thought and consideration a paypal button has been added. The funds will be used to cover expenses not met by insurance or workmans comp, which have already started piling up and the Holidays approach.:) Please know whether someone gives $5, $50, or just prayers and good thoughts... each every one is a gift to us, so please do not feel pressured.