I wrote a previous post on well meaning people offering and insisting my high school kids should remain behind, and yet again I have had to open myself up to conversations about it. The bottom line is I am moving to where my husband works to have my family together...leaving anyone behind defeats that purpose. I've had to go so far as to check with our attorney about it, which to me is sad in itself and really shows me the state of misplaced values in our society. I've been insured I am well within my parental rights to move particularly due to a new job and parental interference by seemingly well meaning people isn't ok.
I've been focusing on the future of the Beech Clan. I've been focusing on what positives this move will bring into our lives. After months of research and conversations I feel we have found a place which will be a good fit for our family and will have the least amount of bumps for the kid's transition. I've found a small town with great schools and a few more opportunities than we have here.
The education system there provides college credits for high schoolers. They have several languages offered instead of one. Their wrestling team seems stellar and it is a sport still fully funded (I've been told they pack their gym out at the meets...which doesn't occur here) They have sports not offered here such as soccer. My youngest will have the opportunity to play Violin at school in the orchestra instead of driving two hours weekly for lessons. We will be very close to Seth's workplace which gives him more time at home with us. We will live in a finished home (My favorite perk so far!) The schools offer summer camps ...there is a 4 H camp near by and many new places to explore in the Teton area.
Don't get me wrong, the community we are leaving has many positive attributes and there are things we will definitely miss. I am thankful for the support we have had through the years, and even for the hard lessons we have endured here.
I spent some time with my eldest daughter yesterday, who is home from college. She wishes now we had moved when she was younger. She is realizing there would have been some positive advantages to this. It was funny to hear her say "You are the parents and there is a time when you just have to put your foot down and the kids need to follow your lead...no discussions asked."
She also gave me some insight into my own parenting style. I tend to err on the side of too much discussion...too much allowing the kids too much room for argument. In my defense I feel it is important for children to have a voice. My Lili girl stated that kids need firm boundaries, even when they are throwing all kinds of fits and bucking the system in place. She is thankful for the boundaries and childhood she had but she voiced there were times she knew we should have been firmer.
Moving is hard enough with a family this size. We are trying to do it in a way which allows adjustments to occur over time. Some days I want to load them up in the car right now...say screw adjustments...we are doing this now...just to get it over with. :) I've asked those in our circle to please support this move whether you agree with it or not. I've asked people not to interfere and I have been placing firm boundaries about not tolerating it. Things used to seem so simple, but I'm having to adjust and change to the world which is around me. I'm keeping my family together. One day at a time I'm keeping it together as we move toward a bright new positive future. Support that, get out of the way, or interfere. Either way, we are keeping it together. It's just what we Beeches do!