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The other day my husband came home a little later than I had expected him. I was a wee bit aggravated but he looked as if he had a secret to tell. He had run into a fella in town who has begun a new business....they had been talking "shop." This fella's new business had a product Seth was pretty excited about, so he bought one with our family name and the date 3/21/1999 engraved on it. Curious, I asked why Seth chose THAT date instead of our anniversary which is generally when people say is the founding of a family. His answer?  " I like that date better...that is when I knew." So, yes he was forgiven for getting "lost" in town.

In October of 1998 I found my marriage of many years was at a place where repairs could not be made. Out of respect for the ground we have gained in co-parenting and in life, I will not delve into the gory details, except to say it was a painful process for all involved. I made plans to move back to Montana, closer to family. I rented a house, placed the kids in school and found part time employment. I truly felt life was about raising my children in a peaceful, loving environment and looked forward to small town life. I had no interest in dating or moving on.

Seth was going about the business of raising his son, as a single dad. He had a lot of help from his family, a job, and a quiet life in Paradise. He was pretty content. Both of our oldest children attended kindergarten at Paradise Elementary. It was a beautiful March night, and there was a program at the gym. My car would not start and I arrived a little late and flustered as we all had to squeeze in with someone else just to make it. I remember walking in, scanning the gym, only for my eyes to land on the cute cowboy leaning up against the wall. I remember blushing and thinking "Well he grew up!"

Seth and I had met years earlier when I was 16 and he was 12. I remember he and his dad came out to shoe our horses. He remembers thinking I was pretty, and I was heading out on a date. I remember wondering why this geeky kid wanted to talk to me??? We ran into to each other at family events, on and off over the years, including my first wedding.

My mom convinced him to give me and the kids a ride home from the school program. We struck up a conversation, and I found I really liked him. He was quiet, funny, kind, and polite. He just says I was pretty and sweet LOL! I began watching his son while he worked, and they would join us for dinner before heading home. He laughs and says I found the way to his heart through his stomach (thank goodness I am southern woman!) My mom always jokes about that March night that he gave me a ride and found his home. 

Our first kiss was on the first night of spring (3/21/1999), with the moon streaming down on us, and it seemed as if all the world stood still and heaven was smiling. Who knew all of our futures and would change and the path of two families would join to make one, which was healthy, strong and vibrant? I look back and I can almost feel the wind on our skin and feel the joy in our hearts and when times get tough, it is that night I grab onto for dear life knowing our hearts made a promise in that moment. This night is now being engraved on a grill, which makes me laugh because it seems so Montana! Not on a mighty oak , or delicate necklace, but a camping grill.
 
My moment of truly knowing came a few weeks later when Seth helped me deal with a situation with my son, Theo. When I knew he was safe for me and my children, someone we could trust, he became the someone I wanted to spend forever with. We were having dinner, and Theo was not to fond of any menu which did not include PB n J or Mac n Cheese. He was throwing a little fit at the table, and there was no reasoning with him. Finally Theo blurts out "I'm gonna call the police on you." I was going to explain why it would do no good but Seth stepped in. "Ok little buddy, why call, there is one down the street, let's go talk with him." My heart was in a panic, Theo would call his bluff and I had no idea Seth fully intended to go knock on the officer's door. I began shaking my head...and whispering there was no way this would end with Theo eating his supper, but off they went. This was the first moment I had to trust him with my most precious of gifts. A few minutes later they were back at the table and Theo looked glum but was eating his supper. I whispered "What happened?" Seth had Theo explain they had walked down, and knocked on the door. The higway patrolman was someone Seth knew (of course....it is a small town after all). Theo looked up at what must have seemed a giant of a man. Seth explained he had a young man who wanted to talk to him. Officer K said "What can I do for you young man" Theo told him of his supper predicament. I then asked Theo "Well, what did he say?" "He said I better mind my mama and eat my supper."

From that moment on we supported each other, listened, and became best friends, when it seemed there was no one else in the world we could depend on. Seth had just found his other son, and was in a custody dispute over him, and I was still healing from a broken marriage. Seth and I encountered a lot of opposition to our relationship in the beginning.Others felt it made no earthly sense why a woman with 4 kids and a man with 2 would want to blend their homes. At one point we were so over whelmed with the vehement opposition, we sat down and had a heart to heart. We felt we had to decide a lot more quickly than we normally would have in order to save ourselves and the children a lot of grief. We wrote all the qualities we wanted in a spouse, in a co-parent for our children, as well as goals in our personal lives. We exchanged the lists and compared them to one another. They were almost identical. The differences were things we felt we could support in one another and we made the decision to stay together...my first engagement ring was fashioned out of a gum wrapper, and we laughed so hard. 

Our relationship was a gift from God which brought healing, life, and joy into not only our lives but the lives of our children. Over the 12 years we have been together, we have been through many struggles, but even when the ship seemed bound to sink, we have made it through every storm life has sent our way. I cannot imagine my life without my best friend. When I gave birth to Morgan, our family seemed complete. One of my children drew a picture of all of us with Morgan as a little tiny bundled band-aid right in the middle of our little family. My child explained to me she felt Morgan was our band aid, she made us really a family, because she was someone everyone got to share. The logic of little six year old girl, whose hopes and dreams were of a whole family, not broken, but healed, was wrapped up in a little crayon drawing.Her date of knowing is 5/22/2000. We all have had our moments.  I love the sign hanging in my living room, with all of our family pictures resting on a shelf above it. It states " All because two people fell in love."

My whole world is wrapped up in the moment Seth and I chose this path and honored God's plan for our little family. We have so many blessings. We could have taken the easy road and listened to those who claimed  love was not enough, but I sit here today in a season of renewed hope and love for my husband and family, I realize life is about seasons and changes. Many times we have thought about throwing in the towel, and there are moments we have given up, but yet we press on. There is no one else I can imagine growing old with than my best friend. The greatest gift in life is love. My hope and prayer everyday is my marriage will be an earthly reflection of the love God has for all He has created.

 


Comments

Rhonda Wilson
06/02/2012 13:17

Hi Kimber, I have been following you on facebook now for several months but have never found time to go back and catch up on all you've had to offer on your blog. I sit here and read this and find myself wiping the tears away because we have so many things in common. The "bandaid" child you spoke of....I have one of those too and like a bandaid, little Cody sure has helped glue our two families together. My husband and I have too weathered many storms and share so many characteristics of you and your Cowboy! Thanks for being such an inspiration to us all!

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08/06/2012 20:31

hugs!

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